Tags

, , , ,

Learning from the best!

If you follow me on Twitter you’ll know that the most popular posts that I’ve written so far have been about porn and blowjobs and I swore to do more of those soon (I know, what a chore).  As promised: deep-throating tutorials brought to you by porn sites and other places on the internet!

Some notes on deep-throating (Wikipedia uses a hypen so I’m using a hyphen– good life rule?): it takes a lot of practice not to gag or just be terrified of suffocating, everybody makes weird noises and everybody grimaces and gags sometimes, even the porn stars.  Look at the girl on the Wikipedia page for an excellent grimace.  Also, deep-throating is just one course on a sex menu: take it out, do things with your hands, slide up and down, the stuff we taked about in the first porn review!.

Is deep-throating necessary for anyone to master in order to give good head?  NO.  If you’re with someone who really really wants you to do it and you don’t want to but you want to indulge that desire, have them use their imagination or watch some deep-throat porn while you do something else.  Did you know that some non-penis-owners like giving and/or receiving head using strap-ons?  I know this now and I’m so pleased that once again this post can be for everyone!

Today I went to Deep-Throat School in my kitchen.  I first prepared a nice cucumber by washing it a lot, because as we know deep-throating is a skill you’ve got to practice practice practice, not just memorize tips for later.  I realized afterwards I could have put a condom on it– I’ll try that next time!  Other things I could have used include a banana, a vibrator, or a dildo.  Or a real penis, but there wasn’t one in my kitchen this morning.  Foiled again, right?

The first video I watched (lies– the first I’m going to share with you; I watched a lot of sub-par stuff), How to Deep-Throat Without Gagging by Cherrytv.com, was a nice round-table chat with some Average Jane 30-something ladies talking about their personal experience deep-throating.  I didn’t really follow along with the cucumber because it wasn’t a step-by-step kind of thing and more like a “popcorn” discussion of olde, but the ladies had some great perspectives: one said she sticks her tongue all the way out because when it’s scrunched in there it’s easier for her to gag,  one said that deep-throating is “like yoga… if you focus on your breathing it’s easier” and she finds she can breathe around the penis when it’s in there, and there was general agreement that smaller-size penises led to a much higher success rate and thus a greater sense of  triumph for the deep-throaters.  The video is just over 3 minutes long so it’s like a little appetizer.  Lovely!

Deep-throating instruction was promised in the title and preamble of Slutload.com’s Belladona Deepthroat Training video, and I was excited to get educated by a real porn star with an indisputably massive dildo in her hand.  There was some instruction and tips and she helpfully demonstrated how difficult deep-throating is by gagging several times for the camera, but I didn’t learn anything new.  I completely recommend this video anyway, though, because it made me laugh:  she says she’s going to teach us how to deep-throat “but first, I’m going to show you my ass!” and then there’s a nice lingering shot of her kneading her ass for us.  It’s just really kooky throughout the video and I want to be friends with her.

Maybe, I thought, men deep-throating other men would be a good place to look for real helpful instructions.  I didn’t find any good instructional stuff in my Google tour– I’m sure they’re out there, tell me if you know of one/find one!– but I did find lots of sexy man deep-throat videos.  Here’s one for a little taste, from manhub.com.

I’d almost forgotten about the cucumber and I really wanted to find something to practice along with that was fun and instructional.  Luckily, oh my goodness, 80’s porn you are the funnest.  Tube8.com has a link to what they call “Deepthroating 101” but what the video itself calls “The Fine Art of Fellatio” which is this perfect video of two extreme puffy-haired blondes and a dude with a Speedo tan reclining all over these cushions and giggling and just having the best time ever.   The older woman, Karen Summer, teaches the younger woman, Mindy Rae, how to deep-throat using Marc Wallice and his glorious Speedo tan.  Karen gives lots of hints and I tried with the cucumber when Mindy tried with Marc– it was so fun, like a sleepover!  When Mindy finally gets it they have an adorable girly celebration.  By the end of the video both women have male partners and they do lots of things, there’s upbeat 80’s music flavoring the scene, and you can just watch and learn.  These are actually famous vintage porn stars: Marc Wallice especially has some notoriety which is a sobering ending to the story.

Watching all of these videos and practicing on the cucumber was enjoyable and I will surely be practicing again soon.  It was definitely tiring just like real blowjobs though and I had to stop and just eat the cucumber while I watched the end of the 80’s video.  Vegetable blowjobs and lunch: two fun things I did today.  How is your day going so far?

Resources:

80’s video:  http://www.tube8.com/blowjob/deepthroating/7165/

Kooky Dildo video: http://www.slutload.com/watch/HjaYfgS6vTB/Belladonna-Deepthroat-Training.html

Sexy Man video: http://www.manhub.com/watch/13135/extreme-deepthroat/?utm_source=feel.com&utm_medium=medium&utm_campaign=campaign

Chatting Ladies video: http://www.metacafe.com/watch/2113304/how_to_deep_throat_without_gagging/