In February/March of 2011, if you’ll remember, there was a great fiasco at Northwestern University involving a Human Sexuality professor, a consenting lady, and optional-for-students extra class that involved the real-life use of a “fucksaw” to demonstrate said lady’s ability to ejaculate during a G-spot orgasm (more about G-spot orgasms here). I have fucksaw in quotes up there because in most news articles it’s in quotes but it’s not a “so-called ‘fucksaw'” in Sex Toy World; it’s just a fucksaw, noun, here is where you can learn more about the model in the picture below, which is the SAME MODEL as the one used at Northwestern and– wait for it–
–which I learned more about from the actual fucksaw in question’s actual owner on her website. From which I have also learned that the demonstration was a 3-minute part of a much longer hour-long optional lecture about a number of diverse relationship-y sex-y topics and that the professor didn’t use it on like his girlfriend or something, which is what the news made it seem like, but actually it was a man named Jim Marcus and a woman named Faith Kroll who were in a relationship and also guest lecturers in the class. Also, the students were all at least 30 feet away. Also I randomly met a Northwestern student two years ago who said he was in the class and whose story corroborates all of this, so.
Anyways, Sunny (a real-life sex educator) says that the fucksaw has a “near 100% track record”, in her experience, of allowing vagina-owners in its care to experience G-spot orgasm coupled with ejaculation– many for the first time ever. Which in turn corroborates the everyone-can-do-it message that Deborah Sundahl (mentioned in the G-spot post) has used to carve out her niche as the premier female ejaculation educator.
A NOTE: In my post on the G-spot orgasms, I talked a little bit about the dangers inherent in saying that “all women/vaginas” can do/experience specific orgasms and things like ejaculation, because we in no way want to create a hierarchy of orgasms in which one type is valued over another, thereby de-valuing an individual’s positive experience with one type and perhaps causing her and/or her partner(s) to have goal-oriented sexual experiences instead of pleasure-focused/accepting sexual experiences. There is a lot of female ejaculation in porn, for example, and that’s awesome because it makes something that many vagina-owners could have potentially been embarrassed about into something cool and sexy– but it also turns it into something that a partner, especially a penis-owning partner, could desire to see IRL and then it puts a lot of pressure on the situation. And everyone probably knows this by now it’s difficult to have an orgasm when under (psychological) pressure (related: why do we mostly talk about “performance anxiety” in the context of men? I of course have Theories). Anyways, that said, I think that female ejaculation is all kinds of awesome and fascinating so let’s be careful not to fetishize or put it on a pedestal but let’s just take a good look and appreciate how owning a human body is the weirdest but greatest.
The first thing that everyone (it seems) who writes about female ejaculate does is cite the studies that prove that it’s not urine. Annoyingly, people never seem to directly cite these “studies”, but there is a plethora of journal articles on the Wikipedia page on the subject if you really want to dig around for them. Anyways, it’s true. It’s not urine. I can see why people had/have that idea even though it’s kind of frustrating (I don’t think any adults are going around worrying that semen is the same thing as urine): when female ejaculation is imminent it does feel like the urge to pee, and anecdotally (in places like the comments section of this article by one of my favorite bloggers/writers ever Lesley Kinzel) it can sometimes be quite a lot of fluid, more than the average amount of seminal fluid (Goodvibes.com’s “How to Female Ejaculate” offers 1-2 teaspoons as their estimate, which seems conservative given anecdotal evidence). Just like semen, it appears that female ejaculate can come in an array of consistencies, clearnesses/opaquenesses (it’s amazing to me that those two words passed spellcheck), and can squirt out in varying distances (Sunny Megatron’s fucksaw appreciation post has great info, go there already!!)
Some people do it without practice (again, comments sections have the best stories) and some people practice and figure out how to do it in a way that works for them (which can take a while, if it ever happens). And apparently, some people use the fucksaw, for which one needs approximately 169 dollars and a partner which is kind of a lot for at least my generation to ask for at this point I feel, but if you are in a position in which you have both these things I want to know all of the details please thank you.
What am I saying, though? For details, we can always turn to porn and educational videos (there’s a difference there’s a difference!)
First (and I’m totally just googling and watching the first couple of links, so you can do this yourself too/you probably know of better videos than I do) here is a porn video of a 69 situation in which a girl squirts on a guy’s face (and then he reciprocates on her face). ~5 minutes long.
Next, squirtingporn.org, which is trying to sell “educational videos” and also has links to other places to find squirting porn of all types, and if you scroll down there are pictures! Like these:
Importantly, many women don’t ejaculate with partners but instead can only do it while masturbating, which is fortunately another porn genre that people like to watch on the internet, like in this video (she’s using her hands and a wand vibrator), and in this video (using a dildo).
Generally, of course, women in porn are going to make it look easy to do with just a little bit of finger/vibrator/dildo/penis friendliness, because that’s their job. For more educational/instructional-type videos, our woman of the hour Sunny Megatron links to a Tantric massage-type video in which a man shares advice on G-spot stimulation (the woman in this video is all waxed and toned like in a lot of standard porn, and we do get to see her ejaculate, so it’s definitely a porn-like instructional video).
For those who don’t want to watch videos and would rather read up on how to learn to female ejaculate (or help a partner do so), there’s great advice on Goodvibes.com (apparently it could be easier if the hips are elevated above the head! Also, they advise putting a towel down preemptively to make you not nervous about getting anything soaking wet) and Sunny’s site (reviews of kegel exercisers and helpful toys).
The advice that I’ve heard and read over and over again is to get the body in question really aroused before attempting to reach the G-spot, because it probably won’t feel like anything otherwise (again, the G-spot area can be reached by the much-lauded “come here” motion with one or two fingers facing up 1-3 inches inside the vagina– and for some people you really need to press hard/use a dildo or vibrating dildo).
Other important advice is that since it’s going to feel like the body has to pee, to ejaculate one must overcome the fear that they are actually just going to pee all over everything and not have a really big gushing orgasm. As Dr. Laura Berman puts it, “As you approach and reach orgasm, push out hard with your pelvic-floor muscles rather than squeezing in, as most women naturally do”. Scary! But practical! (The rest of the article is very heterocentric and assumes that the vagina-owner in question is definitely with a man and definitely having P-in-V sex in order to get at her G-spot, which could work but duhhh isn’t the only way, so boo to the rest of the article and I will just cherry-pick good advice/quotes).
Practice, patience, fun, Skene’s glands, fucksaws (if you’re lucky) are all going to be part of the quest to become a squirter if your favorite pussy doesn’t already do it. It’s something that even most people who know they have the ability don’t do every time, so it does indeed seem possible that those who haven’t done it just haven’t discovered their personal combination of factors. These could include a simple toy purchase, a couple months of Kegels, the un-learning of internalized damaging ideas about sexuality or, as Deborah Sundhal understands, healing from abuse: the same factors that could be in play when we talk about any type of orgasm on any type of body.
Until next time! As always, email me/comment/whatever if you have any information to add!