Tags

, , , , ,

the DVD!

There are those who can attest that I’ve been talking about Kelly Shibari pretty non-stop for weeks.  I attended a panel discussion called “Fat Sex Work” at CatalystCon that featured Kelly and two other badass women (Kitty Stryker and Jolene Parton) talking about the niches they’ve carved for themselves as women in the sex industry who don’t fit the standard “size profile”, and between Kelly’s magnetic presence and  stunning face, I remember having the distinct feeling that I could not stop staring at her.  I left the conference with a ton of product samples and other goodies, and among the booty was Kelly’s DVD, “Kelly Shibari is Overloaded”, the porn film that she starred in and directed in which she invited real dudes that are fans of hers (Twitter followers amassed from other films she’s acted in, the website she runs called PaddedKINK, and from just being the coolest) to celebrate the Japanese women’s soccer team with a blowbang.  This seemed promising.

Flash forward to my internship at The Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health, where I am assigned to be in charge of porn nights in which we invite members of the 18-and-over public to come watch clips from a selected film and talk about it in a safe space.  Kelly’s film was a perfect fit: not only is it interesting to watch and talk about because you don’t often see an Asian BBW girl blowing and having group sex with a whole bunch of chubby dudes with average-size penises, but also because the whole thing is just so damn fun.  Kelly and the guys crack jokes and giggle and aren’t trying too hard to be sexy, and so the film comes across as accessible and appealing to the audience (her fans) that she’s trying to reach.

Kelly does social media and marketing consulting in addition to all of her other projects, so I shouldn’t have been surprised when she heard about our plans to screen “Overloaded” and suggested that she come to porn night and do a Q&A with us.  What happened after this was basically we all got super excited and I started emailing with Kelly about travel plans a lot (guys I’m discussing Amtrak with a porn star how cool is that!?!??) and telling everyone we knew hundreds of times that Kelly Shibari was coming and that we were all super excited. Then, on the day that she was set to come in she had a piece published on xoJane which just so happens to be my absolute most favorite internet-place to hang out and then I got even more super excited.

Ok.  Here’s the part where I gush a lot.

Guyyssss, Kelly is so cool!!  When I introduced myself she gave me a big hug, and it wasn’t weird at all to be squished against boobs that could be seen getting all shiny and slippery with cum just feet away on my laptop.  She’s totally friendly and nice without any pretensions, and there was a great conversation about scifi T.V. that happened and lots of giggling. When people started coming in for the screening she introduced herself and chatted and made everyone feel really comfortable and normal about the fact that we were all about to sit down together and watch her have lots of sex.

So.  We watched a few scenes from the film (the blowbang, a threesome scene, a group sex scene and a final bukkake), and in between watching clips Kelly provided so much insight into SO many things!  When you ask someone about a film they made, you get all these charming little vignettes such as learning about the man at the soccer store who helped Kelly pick out her outfit, the astroturf burns that her knees suffered, and the fans from the blowbang that she and her boyfriend made friends with and now hang out with on a regular basis where they live in L.A.  I wanted to make sure we asked her about body image, and she is going to be doing more work speaking and writing about body image in the future which is really exciting!  It was the first time she’d really seen some of the scenes that we watched, so we all giggled at the goofy parts and it was the best.  After the official Q&A part was over, most people hung around and chatted and we all made new friends.

Kelly said that she’s had a career change every 8-ish years (she did theater tech and movie set design before porn) and that a new career may be on the horizon soon– we’ll see if that’s more body image stuff or sex education stuff or something else!  I’m looking forward to seeing her on another panel at CatalystCon East!

Sometimes when you’re really excited about meeting a specific person they don’t meet your expectations and it’s disappointing, but meeting Kelly just made me think she was even more awesome.  Anyone who read or is going to read Kelly’s piece on xoJane about being a role model should know that she really means what she says and cares about making real connections with people in person as well as over the Internet: total genuine role model material.  I’m so glad that she made it to porn night and got to meet with all of us here for such a delightful evening.

Kelly, you’re the best!

xoxoxoxo